A WEEK OF FIRSTS

So the last week has been a week of firsts for me. I turned thirty the day after my daughter turned nine and as you would have it, nothing has changed! Imagine that. Still the same old challenges.

Well except for one.

My daughter made the decision to get locks this past week too. It's an interesting and often difficult transition. I've been there myself. I had them for five years and finally opted to take them out last summer. The decision to remove them had mostly to do with my desire for constant change, but I miss them like crazy and will likely be starting from scratch again this winter.


Anyway, my little girl looks beautiful and the most important thing (that makes me so proud!) is that she feels beautiful and is proud of her new hair style. Many Black women have a hard time dealing with short hair. I know I did. I wore headbands almost the entire first year to appear more feminine. My daughter refuses to wear headbands and is completely comfortable with the shorter look.

Of course on her first day of school with locks she was asked if she "cut her hair" and I loved her response!

"No I didn't, my hair has different lengths depending on how I style it."

She knows her hair well, is proud of it, is comfortable with and proud of herself and I'm am very proud of her.

Think I may have just seen one of my first little victories!

AFRO PUFFS, WEAVES AND RELAXERS

Afro Puffs, Weaves, Relaxers, Flat Irons, Pressing Combs, Jerry Curl, Braids, Cornrow....There are so many ways a Black Woman can style her hair. But how much is too much for a Little Black Girl?

The other day a girl at school told my daughter (who was sporting cute little Afro Puffs) that her hair looked terrible and that she should get a weave. What kind of foolishness? Can you imagine one child telling another that they need to get a weave? Can you imagine a child with a weave?!

My heart goes out to that poor little girl. She was older than my daughter (which is also sad) and I can’t help but wonder (though its none of my business) what her mother or guardian is teaching her about what it really means to be who she is.

I pride myself in teaching my children to embrace their Blackness! I want my daughter to first be proud of who she really is. Change or enhancements are never forbidden but I want her to first love herself. Maybe I am a bit too passionate about this, but I can’t help it! When did our Beautiful Little Black Girls become a part of a culture that can’t accept Blackness for what it is? They’re too innocent for that!


I comforted my child by telling her that she should never let another individual determine her comfort level. I asked her if she liked the style of her hair when she left the house that morning. She said yes. I told her that’s all that matters: how she feels about the way she looks without anyone else’s influence.

When I do her hair I ask her what she wants, I don’t impose my own opinions about what I think looks good (natural or not). I want her to express herself. I hope more mothers choose to raise their Beautiful Black Daughters much in the same way.